One, I'm an Insomniac so I never get tired until 3 AM anyway and I've always been able to sleep for three hours and be fine. Therefore I never really cared for sleep.
And two, sleep inspires dreams and dreaming is the only medium in which I have no control as to which memories of my past come to the forefront of my subconscious. Therefore I suffer night terrors several times a week and lately It has been happening every night.
Now I'm not insane even though this would inspire that thought for sure. The insomnia I've always had and the night terrors are really PTSD attacks. I have dreams reliving things that I would die happy never remembering again and I wake up gasping (sometimes shouting) and drenched In sweat. I honestly hate it.
The memories that inspire the attacks are things that i've done or seen back when I was that Dark version of myself that I've referred to before. Back when I got into street fights, knife fights, got shot at, got stabbed (twice), been held at gunpoint twice, when I was beaten within an inch of my life and when I came centimeters from killing another human being in my angered fury. When I've seen various people shot in front of me, various gang members bones crunching under my power, and the one time I saw a ten year old's neck snapped like it was nothing all because some asshole thought the kid was annoying.
These are the things I see, the things that keep me up at night.
These are why I hate sleep
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