It's all just a matter of Time

    Time does seem to be a fleeting thing.  It pretends to come and go, making us feel older and younger, when in truth it is a constant flow; a steady reminder of hours, days, weeks, months, years spent in our ever moving lives.  Time gives us our understanding for pain, for patience, for sorrow, for peace.  Without time, these things would have little impact on us.  Time measures the number of ways over a number of experiences in which you've been hurt, it measures our steady wish for time to go faster, it measures the number of weeks since we've last seen those we care about, and it measures the memories from our nostalgia.  Time is a bitch, but without her we couldn't know any of the joys of life just as we wouldn't know the pains.  So in a way, Time is a bitch.  In more of a way, we're all sons of bitches.

    So I haven't posted anything on here for about four months and in that time I've had both great and terrible experiences.  So here's the long update in chronological order.

   Well just around the time after my nineteenth birthday I met/started hanging out with Sasha and Justin along with my other great friends Jake, Fletch, Dan, and Cadi.  I would add Josh to this list but he was so busy being all off campus and having a girl friend and blah blah that we didn't hang out as much.  Still my nigga though.  With these two hilarious additions our crew expanded and we had many merry adventures including frequent late night trips to Leehi's and the time we went to the parkway at night and the girls were too scared to get out of the car and everyone claimed to be seeing some "light in the trees" total bullshit.  Anyhoo...

THE CREW

   My group of friends is awesome and is honestly the best thing that ever happened to me in that godforsaken state.  Multiple late night Walmart "shopping" runs, latenights watching movies, and playing Magic/Tichu/Poker/Starcraft and other hilarious memories will forever be among the few highlights of my time at SVU.  It was good to know that there were other normal people in a school fueled by the insane.

   Another highlight of these four months is that after a ton more issues with the Honor Council and me going through a lot of rehashing of buried regrets I somehow was able to finally tell my parents my the majority of my problems, arising from when I was 14 until around 17.  The whole gang stuff, me almost being killed, me almost
killing someone else, all my anger, stories from when I was around the wrong kind of people, things I'd seen, things I'd done, how I drank, how I smoked, how I messed around, how I was extremely violent and always angry, how I wasn't sure if I believed in a god, and how I frankly didn't give a shit about the church.

   It was quite the conversation.

   Well, since those conversations (note the plural) a lot of things got much better as far as my relationship with my parents.  There are still some things about them since that bug me, most arent that big of a deal but a few are big problems to me.  But all in all, I am closer to them now, which is ironic since I don't live with them anymore.

   Well another thing that happened in this interum is that the SVU Dance Company (featuring Calvin Buchanan apparently) had our Spring Recital!  Which went great minus the several technical hiccups but since I didn't work on those I laughed my ass off about them.  But the dancing was great!  it felt good to know that all our hard work paid off!  Previously I had finished "teaching" the first hip hop routine I've ever choreographed alongside my wonderful and talented friend Sarah who taught me the finer aspects of choreo and it felt great to have contributed to the show in such a way as too have co-choreographed one of the most fun routines (I am biased I know)!

   I also had my own solo performance in which I wanted to express some things that I was going through at the time with accepting past wrongs and changing for the better to become the kind of person I want to be. 

                         

SVU Dance Company after our Spiritual Contemporary

   Some other things that happened are that my whole courtroom thing for when I was arrested is finally over.  It resolved after over 6 friggin months with just a fine.  Just a fine.  On one hand I now owe the town of Buena Vista over 300 bucks but on the other that whole process is over so whatever.  One less thing.

   When the school year began drawing to a close I was told that I would not be allowed back to SVU for the next fall semester and that the earliest I could return would be the Spring Semester.  And since I had another ad dismal semester of a 1.0 GPA I would have to complete a semester at another school and finish with a 2.5 or higher before I am allowed back.  While I don't really care a whole lot, I do want to go back to SVU for the spring just for Dance Company and that it's free tuition.

  Well that's about all of the catching up.  Right now I live with my grandparents all the way in Orem, Utah.  i rode several trains over the course of about 50 hours across the country and am ready for a fresh start here, away from reminders of my past, away from negative environments, and ready to live my life the way I want to live it:  To the best of my ability, to the fullest, with no regrets so that I can be proud of myself at my deathbed because it's my life and i'll only get to live it once.  

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE